


Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

by orphan_account



Series: Hijacking the Soft Wars AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Soft Wars, Wrestling, boys don't grow up, brothers being brothers, honestly neither do i, rough housing, the boys don't know what to think of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Set in the Soft Wars AU by Project0506Rank aside, boys never grow up. Rex learns he's never too big for his brothers to knock his feet out from under him. His brothers learn Rex is big enough to fight back now and he fights dirty.Cody tries to stay out of it. He is not successful.Fives, Echo and Hardcase are worried they're having an out of body experience.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CC-2224 | Cody & CC-6454 | Ponds, CC-2224 | Cody & CT-7567 | Rex, CC-6454 | Ponds & CC-3636 | Wolffe, CT-7567 | Rex & CC-3636 | Wolffe
Series: Hijacking the Soft Wars AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725256
Comments: 25
Kudos: 438
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts).



> I write angst and hurt comfort, but this is a fluffy series and I will honor that. I also really suck at writing action. And humor. Kark, how did I get roped into this?
> 
> Projie, please consider this payment for the abuse of the OneNote.
> 
> Title from 'Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time' by Panic! At the Disco

“In fact on the next staff rotation I think I’ll suggest it to the Captain.”

Fives and Echo took their time wandering back to the 501st barracks from the outdoor training grounds on the Courscant base. Lots of vode were milling about, a rare coordination of downtime had put the 104th, the 212th and the 501st planetside all at the same time. An impromptu hand-to-hand tournament had popped up on the grounds that morning and Echo and Fives were flying high, having taken first and second respectively.

“Dogma will try and claim all the credit but he’s not the only vod good at coming up with Systems Intervention Management Protocols.”

Fives busied himself unwrapping his hands while listening to Echo do that _one-sentence-runs-seemlessly-into-the-next_ adrenaline induced babbling thing he did that Fives always found oddly soothing. He glanced up as they walked past the 104th barracks just in time to see familiar blue and white armor disappearing inside, kama flapping just slightly as the door closed behind him.

Fives turned sharply to follow, flinging one arm out to grab a fistful of Echo’s PT shirt and drag him along.

Echo cut himself off mid-sentence with a surprised squeak, batting at Five’s hand.

“What the kark are you doing?” Echo complained only to be shushed immediately by his brother.

“What’s the Captain doing sneaking into the 104th barracks?” Fives had his body pressed to the wall to the left of the main opening into the sleeping area, a large, wide room lined on both sides by double bunks, identical to every other barracks on the base.

Echo, being the much more dignified vod that he was, stood in the middle of the hall instead, smoothing his shirt down with a huff. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re the one sneaking around like a Shadow on their first Op. The Captain is walking into the barracks like a normal human being.”

“Shh,” Fives hissed and grabbed Echo’s shirt again to yank him over to the wall beside him. “Hardcase is with him. They might need backup.”

This time Echo’s eye roll was nearly audible.

“You really think they would show up, just the two of them, to the Wolfpack Den to start some shit?” Echo said, his tone calling his brother an ‘idiot’ so his words wouldn’t have to. “Hardcase might be insane but the Captain is smarter than that.”

Fives just grunted, watching closely as the Captain talked, gesturing between Commander Wolffe, who looked as unimpressed as Fives had ever seen him (Fives secretly wondered if Commander Wolffe had any other facial expressions), and Hardcase who stood just behind Captain Rex’s right elbow. Hardcase, if Fives wasn’t mistaken, was shifting on his feet as if uncomfortable? Guilty maybe? And, Fives squinted, was his loudmouth, confident to the point of self-endangerment vod _blushing?_

That bore further investigation.

“Why does Hardcase look so uncomfortable?”

Fives looked down and smirked at the sight of Echo crouching next him, poking his head around the corner of the doorway stealthily, much the same way Fives was doing.

Echo was a good vod. Even when he thought his brother was being an idiot he had his back.

“Don’t know. Maybe the Captain is making him apologize for the jetpack thing.”

Echo hmm’d. A few brothers moved and they caught sight of bright white and gold armor standing out in the sea of grey. Commander Cody was leaned back comfortably on his commandeered bunk with his legs crossed at the ankles and a data pad in hand.

It was then that Fives remembered Cody and Wolffe had been in the same squad on Kamino along with Rex, even though he was quite a bit younger than the CCs. Fives wasn’t quite sure how he managed that.

Fives was drawn back to the Captain’s conversation by the sound of snickering from the vode standing nearby. In the blink of an eye Commander Wolffe’s hand shot out and thunked their Captain square in the chest. Rex went flying backwards to flop gracelessly onto the nearest bunk. 

There was no question whether Hardcase was blushing now.

In an instant, a loose circle had formed around the collection of bunks in the middle of the room, Fives and Echo pushing their way to the front already tensing for a fight.

Before anyone could move though, Rex shot back up off the bunk. He smacked into Wolffe and sent them both crashing onto the floor between an empty bunk and the one Cody sat on. The Marshal Commander, for his part, remained heedless of the commotion, scrolling through the data pad in his hand and lifting a mug to his lips.

“Kark Wolffe _no biting_.” Rex howled from somewhere inside the tangle of paint and plastoid. “Cody! Tell him no biting.”

“His name is Wolffe, what do you expect?” Cody said dully around his sip of…tea? Was the Commander drinking tea? Had General Kenobi really had that much of an influence over him?

“Gee thanks, Cody.” Rex grunted when Wolffe’s elbow slammed into his chest plate and he threw his whole body weight back down onto his ori’vod.

Wolffe was turning red from the exertion of trying to get out from under Rex and he bared all his teeth when he broke free with a roar and a grin.

“Ponds!”

Fives and Echo were both shoved aside as a blur in soft shell grey blew through the circle of unusually quiet vode. Normally roughhousing in the barracks was accompanied by shouts of encouragement and credits exchanging hands, but the sight of two…now three…of the most senior brothers in the GAR rolling around on the floor like a bunch of cadets was just surreal enough to keep the onlookers to a stunned murmur.

Ponds leapt across the bunk Cody was sprawled on, clearing his boots by several inches, and broke his fall on Wolffe and Rex, sending all three careening into the next bunk. It wobbled dangerously on impact and collided with the next bunk over, but stayed standing.

“Rex’ika! You’re back!” Ponds exclaimed, looking entirely too gleeful for being in the leg hold he had already fallen prey to.

Fives and Echo locked eyes.

 _Rex’ika?_ They mouthed, disbelieving. 

“Ouch!” Echo jerked his arm away. “Why’d you pinch me?”

“To check and see if I’m dreaming.”

“Pretty sure you need to pinch yourself to do that, _di’kut_.” Echo rubbed his arm, glaring at his brother, entirely put out when all Fives did was shrug.

“Well are _you_ dreaming?”

Instead of answering Echo reached over to pinch Fives on the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“I don’t know are _you?_ ” Echo asked with a sweet smile. Fives would have thumped on his uppity little brother right then if a noise suspiciously like a plaintive squawk hadn’t emanated from the mess of commanders on the floor nearby, distracting them both.

“Ouch! Rex! When did you start fighting so dirty? Cody, come get your CT.”

“Why is he always ‘my CT’ when he’s annoying you, Ponds?” He said, not even bothering to look up from his tablet.

Ponds may have responded, no one was really sure. Instead, every pair of eyes in the room but Cody’s was watching a pillow that had been snatched off a nearby bunk sail through the air in slow motion, arcing in a perfectly executed trajectory headed straight for the Commander’s face.

The soft thud of the pillow smacking Cody in the face, then falling to his lap, rang out like a bomb blast.

The room fell silent, even Wolffe and Ponds stopped moving to watch the drip of liquid falling from the tip of Cody’s nose to his chest plate. Slowly slowly slowly everyone watched as Cody turned first his eyes, then his head, toward where the pillow had been launched from.

Laying on the floor pushed up on one arm, Rex stared at his _ori’vod,_ a pure shit eating grin plastered across his face.

“It slipped.” He said, all angelic purity.

It absolutely _did not_ slip.

A predator’s smile flashed across the Commander’s face and a second later he was off the bed, flying headlong into the pile of bodies on the floor, adding his white and yellow to the mix of limbs already flailing, the air filling again with the sounds of grunts, thumps, swearing and the occasional triumphant laugh.

Fives reached into the pocket of his PT bottoms and pulled out his comm.

“What are you doing?” Echo said, never taking his eyes off the dog pile of Commanders turned cadets.

“I’m betting Waxer our Captain can put his Commander in a headlock.”

Echo blinked and then looked over at his brother just in time to see him capture a holo of Rex standing with one leg on either side of Wolffe, who had both arms wrapped around Ponds, and hauling Cody across his chest with the Commander in a ARC Regulation head and shoulders Suppression Lock. The Commander was doing an impressive imitation of a Blowfin and reaching up to smack rather ineffectually at Rex’s head.

“Got it.”

In the next moment Cody’s finger got Rex in the eye and the Captain yelped, releasing his hold and Cody body slammed him back down onto Ponds and Wolffe.

Echo tilted his head. “How much do you win?”

“Thirty credits.”

Echo smirked. “Fifteen of those says Hardcase has an aneurism before this is over.”

Fives looked up across the circle of vode around the Commanders to where Hardcase was staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed at the Commanders. He looked about ready to burst out of his shell already but Fives was feeling nostalgic. He decided had faith in his vod’ika.

“You’re on.”

**Author's Note:**

> If this is your first foray into the [Soft Wars AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775), please get out from under your rock, lock yourself in a quiet place and binge read it. You'll thank me.
> 
> vod/vode - brother/brothers  
> ori'vod - big brother  
> vod'ika - little brother  
> di'kut - idiot


End file.
